When I teach people how to build their emotional intelligence skills, I ask them to view the YouTube video, It’s Not About The Nail. A woman is complaining about headaches and her sweaters getting snagged. She has a nail stuck in her forehead. Her companion tells her to remove the nail, and the more he speaks, the more frustrated she gets. She does not want him to fix the problem; instead, she wants him to listen and empathize.
The idea of emotional intelligence, also known as EQ, became part of our lexicon and sought-after skill in 1995 when Daniel Goleman published his seminal book, Emotional Intelligence. He underscored the need to understand, utilize, and manage our own emotions positively.
The ability to show empathy is needed now more than ever in the home and workplace, especially as we straddle in person and virtual personal and working environments. Having the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand or feel what they are experiencing is a sought-after skill that every organization is desperately seeking in its employees and leaders.
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